Understanding the Intersection of ADHD and LGBTQ Identities

LGBTQ+ people who also are living with ADHD are faced with unique challenges as they navigate both identities. The world as we currently know it is not set up for people who are outside the neurotypical, heterosexual or cisgender. People navigating both identites may share distinct challenges and experiences.

Both ADHD and LBGTQ+ identities typically come with a journey of “figuring it out.” At some point, they or their parents discover something “different” and so the journey to self-discovery and acceptance begins. 

LGBTQ+and ADHD people can each face stigma, social misunderstandings, discrimination, and bullying. Myths, biasis and old wives tales exist that create confusion, grief, and poor self confidence levels. Both LGBTQ people and people with ADHD are often likely to “mask” or “hide” who they truly are.

Common Struggles or Challenges

Here are some of the struggles or challenges that have been found to commonly exist in folks who are both LGBTQ+ and also have ADHD.

• Lack of Representation – neither LGBTQ+ people nore neurodiverse people are represented well and accurately in most schools, media, and the news. In fact, they are both often misrepresented or mischaracterized.
• Social Stigma – both identities face stigma on a regular basis.
• Discrimination – particular to both is school, work, and medical discrimination.
• Mental Health Implications – both identities have a higher prevalence of mental health struggles like anxiety and depression.
• Struggles with Isolation – both identities can struggle with feelings of loneliness and isolation.
• Relationship Challenges – Having ADHD and some of the ADHD symptoms like time blindness, hyperfocus, impulsivity and poor working memory can cause struggles maintaing romantic relationships and friendships.
• Accommodations and Rights – knowing, advocating for, and exercizing the rights of LGBTQ+ citizens is complicated and not easy to navigate. Understanding the ADA accommodation process for work or school accommodations gets confusing and many people give up.

Additional Complexity for LGBTQ+ and ADHD folks.

People who are navigating LGBTQ+ identities and also have ADHD face a few additional complex situations and scenarios. 

• Coming Out – navigating the process of coming out as an LGBTQ+ person can be emotionally exhausting and difficult. Having additional difficulties with impulsivity, communication challenges, emotional regulation and hyperfocus can – and often does – add a layer of difficulty to the coming out process.
• Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria – This is a known difficulty with people with ADHD, making them incredibly sensitive to real or perceived rejection. Adding this in with discrimination often faced by LGBTQ people and the RSD is exponentially increased.
• Education and Work Environments – being LGBTQ and navigating the work environment or education system can be a challenge all by itself. Having a neurodivergent brain prone to RSD can be extra challenging for people who already often feel marginalized, misunderstood, and not accepted.
• Disclosure Decisions – A person deciding to be “out” at work about being in the LGBTQ+ community  and/or having ADHD has many things to weigh. The risk of discrimination has to be outweighed by the possible benefits of disclosure.

A Few Tips

It may feel challenging to navigate both identities, but there are strategies that will help you manage the unique challenges. Here are a few quick tips I have for you.

• Practice Self-Acceptance – Recognize the strengths that you have, give yourself grace for your perceived flaws, and honor your body, your brain, and your identity.
• Education and Advocacy – Understand how your brain works. Learn your rights. Advocate for yourself and for others.
• Find The Tools That Work – Take the time to experiment and find the tools that work for you, your brain, and your values. 
• Follow The Sun – Find the people, places and things that bring you joy, challenge you, encourage you to be a better you, and who make you feel happy.  When things feel dark, follow the sun to those people, places, and things.
• Reach Out When Needed – build a support network. Find allies who appreciate all the unique things that make you, you. Join support groups. Surround yourself with people who have similar values and/or understand your lived experiences. Seek out therapy or other help when needed.
• Work with an ADHD Coach (like me!) to blast away shame, guilt, and RSD and learn to thrive as your most authentic self.

Work With an ADHD Coach – That’s Me!

If you are struggling with any of the challenges of being an LGBTQ+ person who is also navigating ADHD – I get it.

I’m a queer woman with ADHD.  It’s my lived experiences, plus my extensive training, that allows me to really GET you, to meet you where you are, and to help you form and execute a plan to get you from whereever you are today to where you really want to be.

Book a free, no obligation Discovery Call with me and let’s chat about how we can work together.

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