Tips For Parents Of ADHD Children
Getting Your Kids To DO Important Things
Let’s chat about some tips!
Last month, I gave you a blog about WHY you can’t always get your ADHD kiddo to do the things that are important. Even when they know they are important. Because important doesn’t matter.
If you missed it, you can find that blog HERE. I promised to come back and bring you some TIPS for getting them to do the important thing anyway, so here they are.
Remember, parenting a child with ADHD – or managing ADHD for yourself even – is a lot of trial and error. Some of these tips and suggestions might work for you, some probably won’t. Maybe none will work exactly but part of one and part of another will work.
This is all about finding what works for you, your child and your family.
Create A Reward System
- Your Kids (and adults) with ADHD are constantly seeking dopamine. Therefore, rewards often serve as a very powerful motivator.
- Offering a reward for completing a task that is neither “interesting” or “urgent” might encourage your child to complete a task they would otherwise refuse.
- First – identify the behaviors or tasks you want to reinforce – focus on only a couple at a time, then select rewards that are meaningful for your child – get their input when appropriate.
- Then be consistent with applying the reward system to reinforce the connection and avoid your child losing trust in the system.
Set Clear and Realistic Expectations
- When creating a reward system, or any other time you want to communicate expectations to your child with ADHD – be sure they are clear realistic expectations.
- Explain to your child exactly what needs to be done to earn the reward.
- Tasks that are overwhelming or unclear prevent children from feeling confident that they can achieve them.
- Set goals that they can achieve to build confidence and a stronger sense of accomplishment.
- Be willing to reassess expectations if necessary.
Utilize Interest-Based Learning and “Doing”
- You mayThis will help because interest is one of the two most powerful motivators for people with ADHD (urgent is the other).
- If we incorporate things that they find interesting into learning and “doing” – your child may have an increase in motivation or focus.
- For example – if your child loves robots, put robots into their math problems or reading material; if they have a favorite game, find a way to make it into learning; or if they have a favorite fictional character, purchase personal care products or school supplies with that character.
- Making your child’s learning and “doing” interesting or fun often helps it from becoming a dreaded chore.
Use Positive Reinforcement
- Studies have shown that children with ADHD receive exponentially more negative feedback from parents, caregivers, authority figures, and even strangers than their neurotypical peers.
- Being regularly and consistently told that they are doing something “wrong” or “bad” often leads to poor self esteem, masking, depression, and anxiety.
- Positive reinforcement, on the other hand, has been proven to build self esttem, encourage the repitition of desired or pleasing behaviors, and allow for a heightened sense of accomplishement.
- Perhaps most importantly, consistently using positive reinforcement fosters a strong, safe and connected relationship between parent and child.
Offer Choices, Choices, and More Choices
- This is especially important as many of our ADHD kids are often easily frustrated by a perceived lack of control.
- Giving choices empowers children, giving them back that sense of control.
- Giving them a choice is likely to increase their willingness to complete a task. Offer choices whenever possible and then abide by their choice.
- Examples are “Do you want to do your homework right after school or right after dinner?” “Would you like to go on the slide or monkey bars one more time before we go?” “Do you want clear the table or take out the trash?”
- Once you give them a choice, honor the choice and don’t attempt to talk them into the “right” choice.
Help Your Child Build Executive Building Skills
- Our kids’ executive functioning skills are delayed by an average of 30% when they have ADHD.
- There are many available tools and resources such as visual aids like calendars and planners, and electronic aids like phone alarms and apps that track things. There are games to help kids build these skills.
- You can begin to teach your child how to keep track of jobs or deadlines, teach them how to break their day or their job into smaller pieces, and teach them mindfulness techniques.
- Helping our kids to find tools and strategies to boost those skills is one of the best things we can do.
Build Your Team
- It is difficult if not impossible to do this parenting thing alone, especially when your children are neurodivergent.
- Find a kick-butt team, whatever you and your family need – therapist, pediatrician, medical provider, guidance counselors, teachers – whomever is going to help you help your child.
- Don’t forget the “non-professionals” on your child’s team – it may be a co-parent, step parent, grandparents, babysitters, beloved aunt, siblings – these are all valuable team members. Find Community – specifically other parents of kids with ADHD who “get it.”
Hire Me As Your Coach
- Parent education and coaching, according to CHAAD, is proving to be “an invaluable goal-focused tool that has helped countless parents succeed in helping their child with ADHD.”
- Not only am I a Master Certified ADHD Parent Coach who HAS ADHD – I’m also the parent of two now-adult children with ADHD. I have been where you are. I get it.
- I believe that you are exactly the parent your child needs. I can help you find the tools and strategies that will work for you and your child, let go of parenting “shoulds”, and become the connected and confident parent your child needs to thrive with ADHD.
DON’T MISS THIS FREE WEBINAR
You Are Not A Failure – Traditional Parenting Advice Is Failing You and Your ADHD Child.
Thursday, July 18th
FREE But you MUST Register