ADHD Parenting and Collaboration

I have three main tenets I talk to parents about when it comes to navigating parenting or caregiving for their ADHD child. They are connection, coregulation, and collaboration. I believe those three tools are the keys to parenting our amazing kids.

 

In a previous blog, I talked to you all about the importance of coregulating with your ADHD kid. You can check it out HERE.

 

In today’s blog, I’m chatting about ADHD Parenting and Collaboration. What do I mean by that, why is it one of the three keys, and a few tips to keep in mind when collaborating with your child.

 

 

 

What do I mean by Collaboration?

If you take the most simple definition of the word collaboration, it essentially means two or more people working together to achieve a goal. In the work place it looks like working with your teammates to complete a project. With your partner it may look like working together to take care of the house.

 

When it comes to ADHD parenting and collaboration, a more defined description could be “the process in which the parent and child work together cooperatively to find a way to achieve a desired goal while also meeting both people’s needs.”

 

As parents, we are sometimes so focused on what our immediate need is (get in the car!) that we forget that while getting in the car might be OUR immediate need, it’s definitely not the immediate need of the child who is melting down over the way her socks feel.

 

By shifting into a state of curiosity and collaboration may allow you to uncover both your needs and the need of your child’s and come up with a solution that works for you both.  

 

Benefits of Collaboration

Collaboration between caregiver and children with ADHD provides many benefits. Overall it strengthens relationships between parent and child, fosters resilience, and promotes the child’s emotional development.

Here are a few of the benefits:

• Shared Understanding and increased empathy
• Autonomy and ownership of stated goals
• Building Confidence and Empowerment
• Builds emotional intelligence and self advocacy skills
• Increased success both short-term and long-term
• Fosters Connection, another of the 3 tenets!

 

 

 

How to Collaborate – the super basics 

• Validate your child’s feelings, reflecting back your understanding and compassion
• Express your interest and desire to work together to meet both you child’s needs and your own.
• Get Curious – if you don’t understand your child’s behavior or need, become a detective and help them figure out how to express the need behind the behavior.
• Invite – invite their participation – whenever possible include them in making the plan and invite their feedback and ideas.
• Remember What’s Important – there are certainly times when what is important is the immediate safety of a child. Aside from that, remember that connecting with your child, teaching them that they come first and that you have their back – is FAR more important than getting to work on time, missing the bus, or caring how people are looking at you during a supermarket meltdown.

 

Next Steps

Now that you are thinking about ADHD parenting and collaboration, I invite you to come back to the blog next month where I will discuss myths and misconceptions about collaborations, answer some frequently asked questions, and give you some examples of how collaboration can look with your kid.

 

If you’d like to collaborate with me to dive deeper into connection, coregulation, and collaboration with your ADHD child, book a free, no obligation discovery session today.

 

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